You've found Father McKenzie. But are you really looking for Eleanor Rigby?

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Temporal inversion paradox, or, the future is past

Me mate "the Hobbit" recently submitted a polite, nay almost fawning, request via the ABC website to inquire as to when they was gonna bring the new (third Russell T Davies) season of "Dr Who" to Australia, like. The reply he got was by someone at the ABC signing herself "Zoë Starr." "Zoë Starr"? Sheesh. That is, like, sooooooo obviously a pseudonym. If you really want to épater les anoraques, why not just go all the way and sign yourself "Leela Adama" or "Rose Tylium" or "Wilma 'Hotdog' Deering" and be done with it?

For what it's worth, here's my predictions for the Third Season of the Renewed Dr Who:

Episode 1:

Introduction to new Doctor and/or new companion as London department-store advertising gimmicks, possessed by alien invaders, come alive and attack.

Episode 2:

A Hitchhiker's Guide-style journey into the far future. Doctor will have a run-in with Lady Cassandra.

Episode 3:

Trip back to Victorian England. Meet an iconic, easily-recognized figure ("this actor portraying Charles Darwin", perhaps, or maybe Charles Bradlaugh) and discover that some ancient superstition is actually a trapped alien.

Episode 6:

An ancient enemy of the Doctor will return, from the old "bubble-wrap in a quarry" days, but this time sleeker, more streamlined, more badass and with far better CGI. An eccentric and megalomaniac millionaire risks unleashing these evil villains on an unsuspecting galaxy.

Episode 7:

Doctor's assistant will have a heart-rendingly brief reunion with her long-dead beloved parent. And deal with an alien invasion.

Episode 8:

Doctor and companion will travel back to London of half a century ago and poke fun at the unenlightened social attitudes of the time. And deal with an alien invasion.

Epsiode 10:

Some red meat thrown to the diehard fans, to acknowledge their 44 years of unstinting devotion to the series. Doctor and Companion will deal with an alien invasion.

And yes, the ABC has bought the episodes from the Beeb (it takes nearly a year to ship the precious video-tapes across the many lightyears that separate London, England from Ultimo, Sydney)... but not yet fixed a screening date. Do I look bovvered?

No comments: